Under Her Skin

She knows he won’t understand

He isn’t ready to know anyway

Tho, She is angry like an impatient toddler, She is wiser

Disarmingly, burning with intensity

Her heart races on auto pilot

As Shes loses control

The madness is euphoric

Her soul knows

And responds

In ways unexplainable

To anyone else

That which she desires Is greater than any physical need

She may be waiting forever

But her heart has been his to do with as he will.

It is so much more than animalistic urges

It feels so right that at times

He leaves her mentally sated

She knows what it feels like to have him under her skin

Her Obsession; Her drug

What She craves, She must obtain.

Some nights drain her

Others, evoke recollection to commit to patience.

Trusting it will be worth it when She climbs up and over what She once thought She had to break in order to silence what haunts him

Faith in what is.

And what will be in their story together

Where on lonely nights the last wish to

cross her lips before She sleeps

Each night

.. is to have his heart fully.

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Innocence Lost

Can I go back to 1979? When We rode our bikes, played in the field til dark, Had dirt clod and olive wars, hung out with the people who knew us at our CORE. When we didn’t have a care in the world, but hating when the street lights came on…. Yeah, that’s where I’d like to be right now. Being an adult is NOT where I want to be right now. I wouldn’t be worried about my health, my love life, my finances, my mental health…. I would be so free. Yes, take me back to 1979… Even in my dreams… Innocence lost.

The Bigger Picture

There’s a bigger picture.

For 16 years, I have wanted my own business. I never quite knew what I wanted to do though. I hadn’t learned what I was good at yet. I tried a Data Entry business and lacked the discipline needed to get up and go to a desk job every day. I learned bookkeeping at various jobs and always had a fascination to keep track of other people’s money. Then, I began working with special needs communities. I fell in love with it, and knew right away, it was a passion.. Something I could do well…. Some days were challenging, but most were rewarding. I had found a calling. My First passion.

When I came to Texas, I learned how to create goals.. I continued with the special needs community and as well had received compliments on photos and then the photo bug bit me…. I was hooked. Not so much on the actual photography as I was developing my editing skills. I began photography classes. I began receiving payments for my newly discovered Second passion….I worked endless hours to develop those skills…And after a 4.5 year hiatus, I continue to do so.

I began to have a vision of combining my two passions. That is when I found my niche. I want to photograph the special needs community. I want to fill a need for a patient, loving, compassionate photographer who has a passion for this community and sees the beauty in these amazing souls.

Well, I have decided to make this a reality or at the very least, be able to earn a comfortable income in addition to my current job and wish my business to grow over time. I will keep pushing forward.

And, I want YOU right there with me.

You may never love me the same as I love you, but please do not think for a minute, that I do not want to be a part of your life. I have made myself clear on numerous occasions, and as many who know me can attest, I truly want things to work with you. I have a dream and want you to be a part of that dream. I have to do what I set out to do in 2010 when my life exploded.

Is it conceivable, you could ever show your appreciation by supporting my venture and even getting involved?

It doesn’t matter if you think my work is good or not, CUZ I don’t care. I want my own business and I am ready to try again. You have been my best friend for a while now, and I crave your company. I have from the very first night we met and the first time you kissed me.

Could you support me because of me and maybe it could turn out that may be a way to love with out loving. I have dreams and had decided long ago, I wanted you to be a part of them.

Let me show you how to play again. We can hep each other through those nightmares of our past. I want to have fun again. With you. I found my truest self being with you, because through our trials, I had to dig deep and go find me again to deal with the times I felt ignored even though I knew you couldn’t help it sometimes. I want you. I think deep down inside you know this to be true, as do I, but we are both scared.

I won’t change who I am at my core, and I don’t want to change you at your core.We will always be who we are. I am trying to be your best friend, and it’s not easy when I want so much more.One of the hardest things I have faced following divorce.

The easy way out for either of us is to stop, and yet, we are still here. So before you perceive me to not want to be here….. Show me you want me here. I have shown my love time and again…Tell me how to help you heal, and feel again?

Sincerely,

The one who wants your heart